Bollocks...
Guys, I think I might need some help…
I’m stuck. Well and truly stuck. This thing between Claire and I has completely consumed me from the inside and broken down so many things to boot. Sometimes I’m happy, but more often than not I’m falling to pieces. I can’t control it. To have someone who’s been so very warm towards you turn and be so very cold hurts. And when they then ask what they can do to try and make things better, too. Ha! It’s complete bollocks really. I have so many things to say back, each one more pointed than the last. Keeping quiet is another part of the struggle. An amicable ending to this would be preferred, because otherwise there’ll be sparks of a completely different nature to how it started.
It’s that keeping quiet and almost composed that’s hurting the most. I don’t know how to deal with this one. There’s nowhere to run and hiding doesn’t feel like an option. I feel so pathetic both blogging this, but I don’t know what else to do. Dropping into someone’s room and blurting it all out doesn’t feel right, yet it’s definitely something to consider; safe in the knowledge that I’m only going to break down yet again whilst doing it.
Long and short of it. I’m getting through the days, but I wouldn’t call this living…
Paul
posted by Paul @ 12:15 AM
2 Comments:
hmmmmm, tough one mate. If you need to blurt out to someone in person, maybe Kyle could help? Hes someone whos known you for along time and won't have the bias of knowing her or living with her and therefore should be able to help you more with the getting over/what you should do. But apart from that i think just trying to keep busy, and perhaps letting her know that shes hurt you and ask for a little space for a while? I'm sure it doesn't help having her around so much.
Hope you manage to sort things out mate
*hug*
hey dude, thanks for sending me the e-mail the other night, I like reading your words, especially about happy things like F1 news and Sophia learning how to cycle in Cambridge! Dude, we're all here for you and as I type this from Rick's place in Aberdeen, he sends his best too. Chris is too good at this sort of thing because what I would say to you is merely a reflection on his words. Stay busy and occupy yourself with other things...I am assured Cambridge has a lot to offer, so you won't be short of things to do.
Let her know you're being upset by it all and hopefully that will send out the message that it is getting you down.
*hugs and waves galore*
Take care
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